True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
