just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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