Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
