So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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