And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
