Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i've created a new STD.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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