I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
