he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
