So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
