is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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