The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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