i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
either way he was missing a nipple.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize