I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
