I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
