i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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