Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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