grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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