I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize