I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i drank out of a bidet.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
