Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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