would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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