Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
