i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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