i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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