At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He better not be in your backpack
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
