shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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