Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
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Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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