we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
