I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize