So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
