if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
