Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
