Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
