when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize