SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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