we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
please come you make the beer taste better
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
