I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
