Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
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You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She has the best kind of daddy issues