My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.