kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".