hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
