He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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