i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
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