i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize