Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
