dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
