Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
