Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
