can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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