yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize