My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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