Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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