I look better un-naked...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
