wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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