my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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