so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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