weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
