I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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