remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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