I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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