So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
