I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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