Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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