My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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