I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
