Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  idk but i think it had a face

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  (212): dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night? (1-212): idk but i think it had a face http://tfl.nu/y33v
  Replies (15) Good night (989) Bad night (1639)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.

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  (512): Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me. (405): I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me. (512): Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked. http://tfl.nu/bn4w
  Replies (64) Good night (2861) Bad night (913)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list

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  (301): This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list http://tfl.nu/qiye
  Replies (14) Good night (4551) Bad night (1050)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.

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  (732): i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you. http://tfl.nu/3kwo
  Replies (18) Good night (5184) Bad night (868)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!

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  (937): Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon! http://tfl.nu/1aph
  Replies (92) Good night (13938) Bad night (1760)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina

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  (504): it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina http://tfl.nu/k8v5
  Replies (16) Good night (913) Bad night (8420)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know

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  (936): He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know http://tfl.nu/tf12
  Replies (15) Good night (7401) Bad night (1365)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.

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  (601): He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows. http://tfl.nu/pp93
  Replies (15) Good night (7098) Bad night (2132)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.

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  (608): A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood. http://tfl.nu/4fl8
  Replies (7) Good night (2243) Bad night (1898)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.

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  (614): would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter. http://tfl.nu/c050
  Replies (4) Good night (3011) Bad night (904)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.

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  (239): Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest. http://tfl.nu/uwa9
  Replies (10) Good night (1613) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend

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  (478): Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend http://tfl.nu/itrv
  Replies (4) Good night (1186) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.

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  (337): IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE. http://tfl.nu/suxx
  Replies (5) Good night (1218) Bad night (625)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint

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  (319): Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint http://tfl.nu/ay0t
  Replies (1) Good night (848) Bad night (482)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness

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  (630): I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness http://tfl.nu/4h9w
  Replies (0) Good night (285) Bad night (430)

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