Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.

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  (509): went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down. http://tfl.nu/4560
  Replies (11) Good night (840) Bad night (3046)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.

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  (609): is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive. http://tfl.nu/yffe
  Replies (19) Good night (4967) Bad night (987)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.

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  (812): I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way. http://tfl.nu/t9el
  Replies (24) Good night (7951) Bad night (819)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."

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  (315): We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah." http://tfl.nu/z1lt
  Replies (82) Good night (1662) Bad night (22280)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  idk, I had a turtle in mine.

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  (941): can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat? (1-941): idk, I had a turtle in mine. http://tfl.nu/ag7m
  Replies (30) Good night (3842) Bad night (5577)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..

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  (952): Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day.. http://tfl.nu/4gef
  Replies (25) Good night (3911) Bad night (1496)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.

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  (580): You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose. http://tfl.nu/41p8
  Replies (37) Good night (9426) Bad night (1606)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life

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  (740): he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life http://tfl.nu/cbjj
  Replies (24) Good night (5495) Bad night (2508)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.

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  (540): Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them. http://tfl.nu/zz58
  Replies (7) Good night (1112) Bad night (2221)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate

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  (509): I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate http://tfl.nu/14fu
  Replies (6) Good night (2265) Bad night (705)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.

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  (218): You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk. http://tfl.nu/cpk7
  Replies (9) Good night (895) Bad night (542)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.

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  (973): You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him. http://tfl.nu/xmf9
  Replies (4) Good night (726) Bad night (428)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.

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  (778): I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack. http://tfl.nu/1g01
  Replies (10) Good night (559) Bad night (805)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.

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  (512): Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time. http://tfl.nu/pc17
  Replies (5) Good night (689) Bad night (366)
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  (619): View more from California

  Maybe he injected his testicle?

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  (619): Maybe he injected his testicle? http://tfl.nu/d1yk
  Replies (4) Good night (270) Bad night (581)

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