nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
We just shotgunned beers for America
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.