Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/

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  (507): your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/ http://tfl.nu/cbt7
  Replies (52) Good night (1159) Bad night (6151)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.

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  (734): going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season. http://tfl.nu/7bt6
  Replies (12) Good night (3400) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon

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  (416): I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon http://tfl.nu/5ghl
  Replies (23) Good night (7578) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.

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  (781): I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body. http://tfl.nu/exdj
  Replies (5) Good night (2135) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  the head trauma was worth the blowjob.

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  (602): the head trauma was worth the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/e9mc
  Replies (12) Good night (2300) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.

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  (773): No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape. http://tfl.nu/zpzm
  Replies (6) Good night (2859) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?

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  (317): What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am? http://tfl.nu/0wpx
  Replies (8) Good night (1779) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?

  (714): View more from California

  I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.

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  (949): At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup? (714): I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive. http://tfl.nu/dqyc
  Replies (4) Good night (1841) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill

  (1-631): View more from New York

  omg. that's awesome

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  (631): I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill (1-631): omg. that's awesome http://tfl.nu/py18
  Replies (9) Good night (1471) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.

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  (716): I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects. http://tfl.nu/fv1m
  Replies (1) Good night (1389) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.

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  (917): Using Michelob Ultra as champagne. http://tfl.nu/k4qo
  Replies (4) Good night (454) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.

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  (719): Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done. http://tfl.nu/9qf5
  Replies (5) Good night (1228) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Han Solo would be ashamed of me.

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  (903): Han Solo would be ashamed of me. http://tfl.nu/aspn
  Replies (7) Good night (570) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!

  (360): View more from Washington

  A cheater.

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  (360): If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me. (503): Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?! (360): A cheater. http://tfl.nu/8n8b
  Replies (20) Good night (1151) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.

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  (815): I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven. http://tfl.nu/2w4l
  Replies (3) Good night (411) Bad night (251)

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