ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
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he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.