time to smoke my breakfast
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?