i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack