i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have fence marks all over my body
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.