so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?