Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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