I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
